Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Homosexuality must be celebrated, not rejected

A controversial new show on TLC is sparking wave after wave of protests —  as thousands of people ask for the cancellation of the TV special featuring a group of Mormon men who say they're attracted to other men but chose to marry women because of their faith.

John Sanders —  who launched a Change.org petition asking for 'My Husband's Not Gay' to be axed — says 'the false and dangerous idea that gay people can and should choose to be straight in order to be part of their faith communities.'

'I started this petition because these men deserve compassion and acceptance,'  says Sanders, who has himself been a devout Christian who went through 'ex-gay' therapy and was told to 'pray the gay away' in the past.

In the show, a group of happily married Mormon men have admitted that they are attracted to their own sex - yet they refuse to identify as gay because of their devout faith.

These unconventional marriages are the focus of a new TLC special called My Husband's Not Gay, set in Salt Lake City, which follows three such couples and their single friend, Tom, who is seeking a wife despite his own sexual attraction to men.



Stan B said...

People who do not understand the concept of sin and temptation cannot accept those who do.

Married men are called to be monogamous while being attracted to partners other than their wives. Why does the sex of the attraction make any difference, or the desire to remain faithful to the teachings of one's faith sound "damaging?"

I'll tell you why. Because in our society, it has become all about ME. My happiness, my feelings, my universe. And anything that interferes with ME is "damaging" to my psyche.

Any message that says "ME" is not the most important thing in the world must be suppressed, because in the end, "ME" is all there is.

Anonymous said...

Stan seem to suggest that a gay couple cannot be "monogamous" (or faithful to each other as heterosexuals sometimes can) and if they are it's apparently still a sin just because of some people's religious prejudices (which means nothing to those outside the religion - and why should it any more than Muslims shouldn't expect others to follow rules in their religion, such as never drawing images of their prophet (which to most of them is a blashempous sin).

Dean said...

'the false and dangerous idea that gay people can and should choose to be straight in order to be part of their faith communities."

The idea that people can choose their life style is not false. People make choices every day. Nor is it dangerous. We all have the right to form our lives as we wish. There are limits, of course. Choosing to murder, for example, is frowned upon.

Being homosexual isn't a choice. It's a genetic determination. How one acts on homosexual desires is a choice, a very personal choice that nobody has the right to criticize.

It seems that some who cry for total acceptance of their lifestyle are unwilling to allow others that same acceptance.

Anonymous said...

It's sad that people have to lead a life of denial when they could or might have had a fulfilling and monogamous relationship with someone they truly love as a partner in life.
In this case their religion and their own community have seen fit to devalue them as people and demand they live up to another artificial image the community SELFISHLY desires, in order to maintain their own unwarranted and pointless prejudices.

Anonymous said...

Dean, You state that being homosexual is a genetic determination. Where is that information written? Published? Made up?

Anonymous said...

5:39 All behavior has genetic determination either directly or indirectly (obviously!), even if environment just "brings out" a pre-disposition. And in the same way environment and social influence can also suppress the expression of a pre-disposition as in the case of these Mormons who cannot bring themselves to admit or come to terms with their sexual attraction to the same gender because of prevailing social/religious prejudice. Same with Muslims where it might be a criminal offence, and was too it so-called Christian countries until recently - so quite a disincentive to be honest with one's own feelings.

stinky said...

It's sad that people have to lead a life of denial when they could or might have had a fulfilling and monogamous relationship with someone they truly love as a partner in life.

Their choice. By the way, one can truly love others, including a wife and kids, either with or without the sexual attraction to any of them. Thought you might like to know that.


The real arg here is over some people straying from the ideological plantation. This truly upsets the top-down crowd that such people might make unapproved value choices favoring one set of values (procreation, family and faith) over others (physical gratification). But whose choice is it, anyway?

stinky said...

P.S. to et al,

Homosexuality is not genetically predetermined. It happens when baby boys in the womb receive insufficient testosterone for their full, male brain development.

Genetic determinism begins and ends at conception. Afterwards, the time in the womb is nurture, not nature.

Dean said...

Stinky: Could be. The end result is the same - homosexual tendencies are born, not consciously decided.

7:58 AM is right. The discussion centers around those who make choices not approved of by the gay community at large.

Malcolm Smith said...

What is missing from these comments is an understanding of Mormon theology. The Mormon prophet, Joseph Smith (no relation) taught that God was once a man like you and me who, in the process of aeons, raised himself to the level of godhead, begot billions of spirit children, and created the world for them to live in. It is fundamental to Mormon theology that we can all do the same - provided we are married "for eternity" in a Mormon temple. Those who are mentally or physically unable to marry, or who die young, presumably have to make do with the heaven we Christians aspire to.
These marriages, thus, are a last-ditch attempt to attain divinity instead of settling for second best.
It is unclear from the information whether these men are totally unattracted to women. If so, the marriages are a sham and their wives must be frustrated.
However, if they are bisexual, then I can't see how this makes them different from the rest of us, who are attracted to women other than our wives, but are required to leave them alone. Indeed, it appears a required belief in some circles that same sex attraction overrules all moral regulations.
In any case, I can't see why the show should be canceled. If documentaries are cancelled merely because they may inspire a message some people don't like, then I can produce a long list of my own.

Anonymous said...

Stinky - then it's the mother's genetic makeup that determines her womb's environment for her offspring, so it's genetic whether directly or indirectly, just as was said in the earlier comment.

Stan B said...

Anon 3:49 AM - I did not say that homosexual partners cannot be monogamous. I didn't imply it at all. Please don't set up straw men to knock down.

I did acknowledge that the Mormon faith condemns homosexual acts, even in a monogamous relationship, as sinful. Again, this is not my opinion, this is the Mormon Church's stance. It also happens to the be the stance of almost every major Christian denomination, and almost every major religion in general.

Apparently people who want to live within such a set of beliefs are to be shamed into leaving their church and following their 'true selves.' Of course, this only applies to sexual impulses, not to other desires which manifest as theft, gluttony, murder, or bigoted behavior. THOSE impulses are "truly" sinful...

Anonymous said...

A pity then that these major religions don't spend as much time and debate on these "true" sins instead of the obsession they have objecting to people who simply have a loving and sexual relationship with someone of the same gender, which apparently is a "sin".

Dean said...

Malcolm Smith: A correction is in order. Mormon doctrine holds that those unable to marry in this life will be given that opportunity in the next life.

Your statement that ". . . have to make do with the heaven we Christians aspire to." indicates you consider Mormons to not be Christians. Mormons, members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, are Christians. Mormons recognize Christ as the Son of God, preach his Gospel, and do their best to live it.

Anonymous said...

Since we are clarifying Mormon thinking I think that the reasons these men choose to marry women is probably a bit more complicated than just a desire for celestial glory.
Marriage is essential to Mormons for several reasons, including the rearing of children.
In any event, if you think there's an uproar now, wait until the next version of 'My Husband's Not Gay' which features same-sex couples.
Then the gay lobby will really scream.

stinky said...


so it's genetic whether directly or indirectly, just as was said in the earlier comment.

At that level of generalization, scurvy is also a genetic disease, as is drowning.

Anonymous said...

Stinky - exaggeration doesn't help your case, it just makes you look desperate to be "right".

Use the Name, Luke said...

… indicates you consider Mormons to not be Christians.

Mormons evangelize Christians. Why would they do that if they're supposed to be the same?

Anonymous said...

Luke: isn't the clue in the name - "Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints" So they are a species of 'Christian' whether you approve or not.
(They evangelize Christians of different denominations and sects.)

Use the Name, Luke said...

The Mormans' explanation of who Jesus and God are is very different than the Bible's description, to the point of contradiction. Here is a simple comparison.

Use the Name, Luke said...

Here is a better (more complete) comparison chart between Mormanism and Christianity. There are direct contradictions between Mormanism and Biblical Christianity:

"Asserts that the LDS is the one true church on the face of the earth. Joseph Smith claimed Jesus Christ told him to join none of the existing denominations because "they were all wrong . . . that all their creeds were an abomination in his sight; that those professors were all corrupt" (PGP: Joseph Smith-History 1:19-20). Mormons claim only the LDS possesses the divine authority of the Aaronic and Melchizedek Priesthood as restored by God to Joseph Smith in 1829. (D&C 13; 27:8- 13; 107:1-20; PGP: Joseph Smith-History 1:68-73)"

Anonymous said...

The fragmentation over time of "Christianity" into its ever more numerous and ever-branching sects, denominations and sub-sets, is just like the evolutionary "tree" of the biological equivalent, and with the mutations from the original evermore apparent (with each denying the others can be the true descendants of the common ancestor) !

Use the Name, Luke said...

I just realized the last link I posted didn't work correctly. Here it is again:

Comparison Chart — Mormonism and Christianity